Uses This

A collection of nerdy interviews asking people from all walks of life what they use to get the job done.

A picture of Casper Kelly

Casper Kelly

Writer, director, producer (Adult Swim)

Posted in director, producer, television, writer

Who are you, and what do you do?

I'm Casper Kelly - and I do some combination of write/direct/produce TV shows like Too Many Cooks, Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell, Squidbillies, Stroker & Hoop, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, etc. etc. I also do short films (Please Please Pick Up) and (soon) feature films and I wrote a book of short stories "More Stories about Spaceships and Cancer".

What hardware do you use?

I write on a Commodore 64 but the keys have been replaced by the chrome-plated teeth of my enemies. I haven't vanquished quite enough enemies yet so "C" through "M" on the bottom are still regular keys. Working on that.

For the printer I use a Brother Color Laser Printer. The model number has worn off. I like this printer because there's a way to continually trick it to think it has new toner so you don't fall into that always buying toner con. Eventually I'd like to stop using toner but instead use the blood of my enemies. But the various tests I've tried so far have been problematic: the smearing, the lack of vibrant greens and blues, the deathly smell.

Speaking of vanquishing my enemies, I use a host of weapons. Machete, yes. But sometimes a simple screwdriver like the Stanley 69-189 does the trick. My home office is built on a hellmouth so I am regularly assaulted by demons from the underworld. But we like our neighborhood other than that - so you take the good with the bad.

I'm very proud of my wifi connection. It's an Airport Extreme but modified with a Schroedinger X37 enhancer (available on eBay generally for 15 bucks). The Schroedinger allows me to steal wifi from the alternate versions of myself in alternate dimensions. On good days I can use the Schroedinger to peek at my alternate dimensional selves emails - and if they've written something I'll steal it and save myself the work! One of my selves is working on a novel so I'm looking forward to bringing that out here in my dimension. (Since it is an alternate dimension version of myself I don't consider that plagiarism. They probably do the same to me!)

And what software?

The Commodore uses EasyScript which is just like it sounds. Maddeningly difficult.

What would be your dream setup?

I would love a time machine (either a Timeshifter X23 or an EpochSpanner Mark 4 - the Timeshifter is a more comfortable ride but the EpochSpanner is more precise as to what point in time you travel to - tough call) where I could travel to the future, steal what I'm going to write anyway, and then bring it back to the present so I don't have to write it. I still feel a little squeamish about stealing from my alternate universe selves but going to the distant future to steal from my near future self, I feel ok about that. It would free up more time for me to do interviews, which is my true passion.

Also, I subscribe to Robot Companion Quarterly and as soon as they invent an affordable, non-creepy sexbot I will probably get one. Possibly the model that wears the french maid apron and nothing else. I would not get a sexbot for sex, mind you, but for the purpose of luring further enemies for vanquishing. Also, my sexbot could read my scripts and tell me what jokes work and what ones don't from both a female perspective and a robot perspective. I think the future growth potential of a robot audience in all the arts cannot be overestimated. Unless the robots start making their own art, then we're all doomed.